Out With The Old, In With The New

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice
And to make an end is to make a beginning.” ~ T.S. Eliot

So here we are, it’s a brand new year and there’s lots of excitement in the air! Feelings of newness and rebirth abound. It’s a great time to debut my new and improved website and my first official newsletter.

It’s also the time when millions of people are making “resolutions” for the coming year. To me, this is a terrific idea gone haywire! A practice that may have begun as a way to get the year off to a great start, at some point, morphed into a rigid exercise which is often accompanied by feelings of dread and futility. And that is no way to start off the year, my friends!

Instead, I offer you a different approach to consider; a more “refined” way, so to speak. The goal I propose is to move beyond making drastic resolutions and into setting meaningful intentions and bringing them to life. Here’s how…

Begin by taking some quiet time to reflect on what you want this year to be about, a “theme”, if you will. It can be anything as long as it really resonates with you. Perhaps it’s “The Year of Self-Discovery” or maybe “The Year of Inner Peace” or it could be “The Year of Abundance.” What holds true meaning for you?

Once you choose your theme, jot it down in your journal (if you don’t have a journal, now is the time to start one!) and begin to set a few intentions that will support your theme. For example, if your theme is “The Year of Connection” a supporting intention could be “to cultivate new friendships.”

Next, zero in on some small steps that will bring your intentions to life. Write them down and begin to take action. In the above example, a small step could be “to invite a new co-worker to coffee.” As you accomplish your small steps, continue to implement new ones.

Now let’s talk about creating habits. With the rigidity that most people approach behavioral change, it’s no wonder gyms are packed the first week of January and ghost towns by the time February rolls around.

What if we apply our refined approach here? Rather than making a list of every behavior you want to change and feeling as though you must do it NOW, instead ask yourself, “What is no longer working for me? What am I ready to leave behind?” Once you have clarity, set the intention to let go with gentleness and patience.

I emphasize patience because when it comes to change, many people get frustrated with themselves when it doesn’t happen overnight. A common trap “resolution makers” fall into is “all or nothing” thinking. It’s the mentality that everything must be done to extremes or else forget it. And the “clean slate” feeling of a new year can really stoke the all or nothing fire.

Here’s the refined perspective on that, a new year does feel like a clean slate but the truth is so is every day, every hour and every minute. At any time, you can make a choice that honors your intentions, regardless of what your previous choices have been. When you adopt this perspective, the all or nothing mentality fades away.

By identifying your theme, intentions and small steps, you’ll create a blueprint for positive change and leave the tyranny of resolutions behind. And that is a great way to start off the year, my friends!

Until next time, keep refining!

Love,

Melissa

Time to Refine Tips:

1. Find a quiet place and reflect upon your theme for the year. If a theme doesn’t come to you, allow space for it to surface in its own time. Write it in your journal.

2. Set intentions that will support your theme and identify small steps you can take that will bring your intentions to life. Write them down and begin to take action. As you accomplish your small steps, implement new ones.

3. Identify what you’re ready to leave behind and set the intention to let go with gentleness and patience.

4. Move beyond the all or nothing mentality by reminding yourself that each moment is an opportunity for a new beginning.

5. Celebrate beautiful, ever evolving you! Remember, in the entire world there is only one you. Treat yourself like the rare and exquisite gem that you are!

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