Seeing Your Way Clear
April 17, 2009 // Comments (0)
I went to one of my favorite spas yesterday for a “daycation”. It was heavenly! There’s nothing more nurturing than taking time to relax and rejuvenate.One of the many things I appreciate about this lovely “oasis” is that the steam room is really steamy, unlike others I’ve experienced where the steam was faint and “wimpy” and the room even a little chilly. Here, the steam came out in hot jets to form a robust, billowy cloud. In fact, when I went inside, the steam was so dense that I couldn’t tell if anyone was in there with me or not. I tentatively inched my way to the wall, a little uneasy not being able to see, and made my way to a seat on the tile bench. As I sat there relaxing and breathing in the hot vapor, I watched the heavy cloud gradually dissipate until it was only a faint veil and it reminded me of the journey to self-awareness. At first, the mind is so dense and murky we just can’t “see” which makes us uneasy but as we relax and breathe, the cloudiness fades and gives way to peace and clarity. What’s becoming more clear to you?
Labels: clarity, self-awareness, spa, steam room
Going To The Dogs (or Not!)
April 13, 2009 // Comments (0)
So my husband, Rob and I went to the pet store at the mall. I usually don’t set foot in those places because for me, it’s so sad to see animals in little aquarium size containers, some passed out like they’re dead and others looking at you like hollow-eyed detainees. This store looked a little less dismal so I went in. There were actually a couple of dogs who looked playful, happy and alert. One little guy in particular caught our eye; he was a real cutie with sleek black hair and shiny eyes. He came right up to the glass and almost looked like he was smiling at us. His expression seemed to say, “Take me home with you!” A few days later, Rob and I were doing errands and out of the blue he said, “Do you want to go see that chap at the mall?” Rob likes to pepper his conversation with colorful nicknames but I knew exactly who he was talking about. We decided to swing by and see “the chap.” And when we walked in, there he was, full of pep and personality. The pet store clerk asked if we wanted to spend some time with him in one of the visiting rooms. So we said, “Why not?” He was adorable, so friendly and loving, we were both tempted to say, “We’ll take him.” But then we thought about our lifestyle and what’s important to us. At the top of the list are traveling at the drop of a hat and being “unencumbered” and that won out. From what I’ve noticed, many people don’t factor in their lifestyle and what’s important to them when making decisions. Consequently, they make choices that leave them feeling frustrated, resentful or downright unhappy. What’s important to you? Are you bringing elements into your life that aren’t a “fit”? If so, what choices or changes can you make that will be in alignment with your desired lifestyle?
Labels: Dogs, choices, lifestyle
Cartoon Wake-Up Call
April 10, 2009 // Comments (0)
I got a kick out of an article I read last night that said Kanye West had been “humbled” by being spoofed on the animated television series South Park. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Kanye, he’s a rapper who’s known for his gigantic ego. Proclaiming himself “the voice of this generation” and throwing tantrums at award shows when he didn’t win helped solidify his reputation as an egomaniac. Being bashed by critics and music fans around the world for his outrageous behavior never fazed him, in fact, it spurred him on to greater heights of self-aggrandisement. And then lo and behold, watching a cartoon version of himself makes him wake up and smell the coffee. This just goes to show that someone can be told something a million times and not “get it” but then one day the message is delivered in a way that hits them right between the eyes. Doesn’t that seem to be how it works for all of us? We learn our lessons when we’re ready and often from the most unlikely teachers. That’s been the case for me anyway, how about you? What lessons have you learned from unexpected teachers? And here’s something else fun to think about, if South Park did a spoof on you, how would you be portrayed?
So we’ll see how Kanye does going forward because, as those of us who are working on refining our lives know, seeing the light is just the beginning; embodying it is where the rubber meets the road!
Until next time, keep refining!
Love,
Melissa
Labels: Kanye West, South Park, life lessons, unlikely teachers
There Will Be Blood
April 8, 2009 // Comments (0)
Aren’t fears a drag? They can hold you hostage, make your life miserable and prevent you from doing what you want to do. I’m a big believer in confronting fears because I know when I don’t, I miss out on living life to the fullest and that’s an even bigger drag! I’ve faced off with several fears in my life but one that I’m still working on is a fear of needles. Since I was a kid, the mere thought of a needle penetrating my skin made me shudder. My policy was to stay as far away from needles as possible, except when they’re absolutely unavoidable (cavity filling, vaccinations and other necessary medical procedures). And when I had to face these procedures it was usually with horror, dread and sometimes tears. That does not go over well with medical professionals, who in my experience, aren’t too sympathetic about needle phobia (even though approximately 10% of Americans are afraid of needles!)
I felt it was time to confront this fear head-on so I thought, “How can I apply the ‘refining process’ to my fear of needles?” I decided “gradual desensitization” (little by little, exposing yourself to your fear) is the equivalent of refining. So I started out by going to an acupuncturist once a week, which at first was scary and uncomfortable but with each visit, became a little easier. It helped that the acupuncturist was caring and gentle. At first I couldn’t even look at the needles but after a few sessions, once the needles were in, I would open my eyes, gaze at them and tell myself, “I love needles, they are healing me!” I also stopped thinking of myself as someone who is afraid of needles.
This preparation came in quite handy when I started seeing a new doctor last week and as part of my physical, he ordered a complete blood panel. Pangs of horror and dread began to surface but I decided to look at it as an opportunity to work on facing my fear and scheduled the test. I couldn’t do it on the spot due to the required fasting, which was actually a good thing because it gave me time to mentally prepare. I also made sure to request a “butterfly” needle. They are much smaller than regular needles and I highly recommend them!
When I showed up for the test a few days later, the technician asked, “Are your veins good?” I replied, “Hmmm, I’m not sure, they’re pretty hidden.” She looked at me and said rather ominously, “The reason I ask is that he’s asking for a LOT of blood.” Not exactly the words a recovering needlephobe wants to hear! At that point, I told her that I was going to look away and start counting backwards from 100 (a great tip I learned the night before) while she did what she needed to do. As I mentioned, the medical professionals I’ve encountered don’t seem to understand the whole fear of needles thing. So a couple of times, while I was doing my best to concentrate on counting, she asked me what number I was on and kind of snickered a bit but I have to say, focusing on the sequence of numbers was the most effective tip I’ve used so far. That, and deep breathing, which works in all situations! In the past, I’ve used reading a book (it just has to be light enough to hold with the arm they’re not working on), visualizing or holding a beautiful image, and wearing a blindfold. All these things helped but this time I wanted to get through it without any “props.”
By the time I had counted back to 50, the technician was done and was able to get all that she needed because I was “so relaxed” (she said the blood flows easier when we’re not tense). And isn’t that the case with everything? When we resist, it makes things more difficult and when we relax and breathe everything just flows! “What’s a fear that’s holding you back, making life more difficult or less pleasant? Once you determine it, design your own gradual desensitization regime and follow it. It feels SO good when you’re no longer held hostage by fear! Give it a whirl and you’ll see!
Until next time, keep refining!
Love,
Melissa
Labels: fear of needles, inspiration, life, overcoming fears
A Breath of Fresh Air
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It’s been a while since I posted. I “went dark,” so to speak, because I needed a break. I loved writing my Time To Refine newsletters and so appreciated the wonderful feedback I received from you! Then gradually, I started feeling like it was time to do something different, not only for myself but for you as well, my dear readers. I don’t know about you but for me, doing the same thing over and over again can get old really fast. And a new approach can be like a breath of fresh air (doesn’t just hearing that phrase make you want to take a deep breath?) Well, that’s what I want this to feel like. Since just about everyone is blogging and twittering nowadays I feel like it’s time for me to “jump on the bandwagon,” too. People want “quick hits” so I’m going to play with a “bite size” approach and see what happens. I don’t have a plan, just a passion for connecting with you, offering my take on things and I hope, inspiring you.
I’m so excited! I feel like I’m going on a road trip without a map or a set destination, free to hit the highway in search of adventure. Won’t you join me?
Labels: Uncategorized